Two women on the way back from a night out stop in a graveyard for a piss. One …

Two women on the way back from a night out stop in a graveyard for a piss. One wipes her fanny with her knickers and the other uses a wreath.

Their husbands were in the pub the next day and the first man says: “I’d better watch my wife, she came home last night with no knickers!”

The other man says: “That’s nothing, mine had a card wedged up her ass saying: we’ll never forget you, from all the boys at the fire station.”

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What is the difference between girls / women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, …

What is the difference between girls / women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?

At 8: You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18: You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28: You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38: She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48: She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58: You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68: If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!
At 78: What story? What bed? Who the hell are you?

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Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out …

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.

“You’re running around with other women,” she charged.

“You’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You’re the only woman on earth.” The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Adam demanded.

“Counting your ribs!”

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10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date. …

10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date.
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place.
36% of the women favour nudity.
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes.
46% of the women experienced anal sex.
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning.
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations.
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest.
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.

Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral:

Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!

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There are these three women A redhead a…

There are these three women A redhead a brunette and a blonde. And they start to talk about their daughters. The red head says “you know i caught my daughter with cigars i did not know she smoked!” then the brunette says ” I know! i found booze in my daughters room i didnt know mine drank!” then the blonde says..”OMG i like totally know where ur coming form OMG, i found like these these ummm condoms!? in my daughters room…like OMG i didnt know she had *whispers* a penisssss”

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When men love women

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.

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