Posts tagged wife

An old man was wondering if his wife ...



An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair. He spoke softly to her, “Honey, can you hear me?” There was no response. He moved a little closer and said again, “Honey, can you hear me?” Still, there was no resp [...]

A farmer is lying in bed with his wif...



A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says: “Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow.” Then he grabs her pussy and says: “Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens.” She turns to him smiles, grabs his dick and says: “ [...]

What’s the difference between y...



What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck. Share and Enjoy

A man and his wife are in the shower ...



A man and his wife are in the shower together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door. In walks her husband’s friend Ben. The woman tells him her husband’s in the shower and asks if he can come back later. Instead, Ben steps in and quietly says, “I have $ 400 in my pocket. I’ll give it [...]

The man tells his doctor that his wif...



The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn’t wanted to have sex with him for the past 7 months. The physician tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. When the wife comes to office, the doctor asks her why doesn’t she want to have sex with her husband any more. “For the last 7 months,” the wif [...]

I was sitting in the waiting room of ...



I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, “Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!” The man replied, “How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company.” The man then followed the [...]

The angry wife met her husband at the...



The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o’clock in the morning?” “There is.” he replied, “Breakfast.” Share and Enjoy [...]

A man is doing yard work and his wife...



A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can’t find the rake. He yells up to his wife, “Where is the rake?” She can’t hear him and shouts back, “What?” The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion. The wif [...]

If your dog is barking at the back do...



If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course … at least he’ll shut up after you let him in! Share and Enjoy

I asked my wife: “Where do you ...



I asked my wife: “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” She said: “Somewhere I have never been!” I told her: “How about the kitchen?” Share and Enjoy

A wealthy man came home from a gambli...



A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they’d have to drastically alter their life-style. “If you’ll just learn to cook,” he said, “we can fire the chef.” “Okay,” she said. “And if you learn how to make love, we [...]

When I got home last night, my wife d...



When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I should take her somewhere expensive. I took her to a petrol station! Share and Enjoy

A man suspected his wife was seeing a...



A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir, You leave house.I watch house.He come to house. I watch.He and she leave house. I follow.He and she go in hotel. I cli [...]

“Honey,” said this husban...



“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend [...]

A husband and his wife were having a ...



A husband and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. “You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. “What took you so long to answer?” “I was i [...]

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