A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night and told him “there is a burglar downstairs in the kitchen and he is eating the cake that my mother made for us.”
The husband said, “who shall I call, the police or an ambulance?”
Posts tagged told
A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost …
A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they’d have to drastically alter their life-style.
“If you’ll just learn to cook,” he said, “we can fire the chef.”
“Okay,” she said. “And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener.”
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Teacher: “I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting …
Teacher: “I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you’ve only done it 7 times?”
Little Johnny: “Looks like my counting isn’t too good either!”
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Yo momma is so fat and old that when God said “Let there be Light”, he told her …
Yo momma is so fat and old that when God said “Let there be Light”, he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
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A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each …
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.
Susie said, “He was born in a manger.”
Bobby said, “He threw the money changers out of the temple.”
Little Johnny said, “He has a red pickup truck but he doesn’t know how to drive it.”
Curious, the teacher asked, “And where did you learn that, Johnny?”
“From my Daddy,” said Johnny. “Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, ‘Jesus Christ! Why don’t you learn how to drive?’”
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Yo Momma is so fat, when she told me her weight, I thought it was her credit …
Yo Momma is so fat, when she told me her weight, I thought it was her credit card number!
