Posts tagged school

The children were lined up in the caf...



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of c [...]

Little Mary was not the best student ...



Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ”Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?” When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. [...]

Little Johnny wasn’t getting go...



Little Johnny wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!” Share and Enjoy [...]

Mother: “Why are you home from ...



Mother: “Why are you home from school so early?” Son: “I was the only one who could answer a question.” Mother: “Oh, really? What was the question?” Son: “Who threw the eraser at the principal?” Share and Enjoy

Son: “I can’t go to schoo...



Son: “I can’t go to school today.” Father: “Why not?” Son: “I don’t feel well.” Teacher: “Where don’t you feel well?” Son: “In school!” Share and Enjoy

Little Johnny came home from school t...



Little Johnny came home from school to see the family’s pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, “Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?” His father [...]

Son: “Daddy, I have to write a ...



Son: “Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don’t know what Politics is.” Father: “Well, let’s take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we’ll call her Government. We take care of your need, s [...]

A Sunday School teacher of preschoole...



A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Susie said, “He was born in a manger.” Bobby said, “He threw the money changers out of the temple. [...]

A Sunday school teacher asked the chi...



A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” Little Johnny replied, “Because people are sleeping.” Share and Enjoy

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In...



Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a “tragedy.” One little boy stands up and offers that, “If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy.” “No,” Clinton [...]

Little Johnny came home from school o...



Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom’s room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, “Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!” The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked [...]

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