A Chinese man rings his boss and says: Me sick I cann`t come to work.
The Boss says: “when I am sick, I fuck my wife … try that?”
Two hours later the Chinese man rings back and says: “Me better now you got a nice house!”
Posts tagged says
Yo momma is so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo momma is so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Share and Enjoy
A Kentucky State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-75. He says to the …
A Kentucky State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-75. He says to the driver, “Got any ID?”
The driver says, “Bout what?”
Share and Enjoy
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. “Your money or your life!” says …
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. “Your money or your life!” says the mugger.
“I’m sorry,” the social worker answers, “I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life.”
Share and Enjoy
A couple were in their bedroom and the girl says to her boyfriend, “I wish I had …
A couple were in their bedroom and the girl says to her boyfriend, “I wish I had bigger tits”.
The boyfriend says “Well what I recommend is to get some toilet tissue and rub it between your tits for 2 months”.
“How will that help to make my tits bigger?” asks the girlfriend.
“Well it worked for your ass” says the boyfriend.
Share and Enjoy
A dog walks into this bar, jumps up on the stool and says to the bartender, “Hey …
A dog walks into this bar, jumps up on the stool and says to the bartender, “Hey barkeep, it’s my birthday today. How ’bout a free drink?”
The bartender turns, looks at the dog and nods his head, “Sure pal, toilet’s right down the hall.”
Share and Enjoy
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: “I think …
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. Last week I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”
His second friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. This week I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn’t mine.”
Paddy says: “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.” Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. “No I’m serious. Yesterday I came home and found a jockey under our bed.”
Share and Enjoy
A girl comes home and says to her boyfriend: “I have just had a tattoo of a sea …
A girl comes home and says to her boyfriend: “I have just had a tattoo of a sea shell on the inside of my leg at the top.”
Her boyfriend gets his head between her legs and puts his ear to the tattoo and listens to the sea. “That’s brilliant,” he said “you can also smell the fish market!”
Share and Enjoy
A young man comes home and says: “Dad, just got my driver’s license and would …
A young man comes home and says: “Dad, just got my driver’s license and would like to use the family car.”
Father replies: “OK son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we’ll see.”
Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. “Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I’ve been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?”
Father replies: “That’s all true, but son you didn’t cut your hair.”
Son says: “But, dad, Jesus had long hair.”
Father replies: “Yes, son, you’re perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went!”
Share and Enjoy
A man goes to see a wizard and says: “Can you lift a curse that was put on me …
A man goes to see a wizard and says: “Can you lift a curse that was put on me years ago?”
“Maybe” says the wizard, “If you can remember the exact words of the curse.”
The man replies without hesitation: “I now pronounce you as man and wife!”
Share and Enjoy
“Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey!” …
“Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey!”
“Shut up and comb your face!”
Share and Enjoy
If a man is alone in the forest, and he says something, and there’s no woman …
If a man is alone in the forest, and he says something, and there’s no woman there to disagree with him.
Is he still wrong?
Share and Enjoy
If a man is alone in the forest, and he says something, and there’s no woman …
If a man is alone in the forest, and he says something, and there’s no woman there to disagree with him.
Is he still wrong?
Share and Enjoy
Yo momma is so fat, when she gets on the scale it says “To be continued.”
Yo momma is so fat, when she gets on the scale it says “To be continued.”
Share and Enjoy
Two married Fellas, Jim and Alec were having a beer after work. Jim says: “Have …
Two married Fellas, Jim and Alec were having a beer after work. Jim says: “Have you ever said something when you meant to say something else?”
“How do you mean?” said Alec.
“Well, see the other day, instead of two tickets to Pittsburgh, I asked for two pickets to Titsberg”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” said Alec. “Last week I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say ‘Pass me the Sugar.’ But what came out was “You bitch, you’ve ruined my life!!!”
