How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
1) Two. One to change the light bulb and one to kill the other and take all the credit.
2) None. There is no honor in changing a light bulb, besides, a true warrior isn’t afraid of the dark.
Posts tagged many
How many Ukrainians does it take to change a light bulb?
How many Ukrainians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. In Chernobyl, one just holds the bulb and it glows by itself.
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How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb?
How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he’s finished everyone will think that his last light bulb was much better.
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How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes millions of years.
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How many men does it take to open a beer?
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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How many men would it take to mop a floor?
How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows. They’ve never done it.
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How many babysitters does it take to change a light bulb?
How many babysitters does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you joking? They can’t even change a dirty diaper!
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How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, Let the bitch cook in the dark.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
1) “I want a detailed memo about this issue till tomorrow’s morning.”
2) “You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!”
3) “We haven’t got a policy on that”.
4) “I am on my way to a very important meeting, so we’ll discuss it some other time.”
5) Three. Two to find out if it needs changing, and one to tell an employee to change it.
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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds …
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”
“Onions?”
“Yes, you see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, “Mum, how many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?”
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?”
“Yes – dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
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How many college students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many college students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Will this be on the test?
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?
How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously order an American light bulb.
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How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) None. Feminists can’t change anything.
2) Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to berate any men who offer to help.
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Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to pe…
Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to perform a logical right shift?
A: 32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register.
