How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.
How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.
Did you know that O.J. Simpson, Monica Lewinsky, Ted Kennedy, and President Bill Clinton are all avid golfers?
O.J.’s a slicer, Monica’s a hooker, Ted Kennedy can’t drive over water, and Clinton can’t seem to hit the right hole!
Sitti’s version of the song I Didn’t Know I Was Looking For Love from the album Cafe Bossa
Video Rating: 4 / 5
Son: “Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don’t know what Politics is.”
Father: “Well, let’s take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we’ll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let’s call you The People. We’ll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?”
Son: “I’m not really sure, Dad. I’ll have to think about it.”
That night awakened by his brother’s crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents’ room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid’s room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy’s knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.
The next morning he reported to his father.
Son: “Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is.”
Father: “Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?”
Son: “Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit.”
A guy walks into a bar and demands to know “Who’s the strongest in here?”
The toughest guy looks at him and says “I am the strongest around here!”
The other guy politely asks “Can you help me push my car to the gas station?”
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with “A man once told me …”
When you’re in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. - Natalie Clifford Barney