Posts tagged Joke

Random Joke



A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, “What happened to your ears?” He says, “Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron.” The boss says, “Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other e [...]

Random Joke



During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle. “Didn’t you hear me say that we’re outnumbered 4 to 1?” The Marine replied, “I got my four Sir.” Share and Enjoy

Random Joke



What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones. Share and Enjoy

Random Joke



Yo momma is so fat, “Place Your Ad Here” is printed on each of her butt cheeks. Share and Enjoy

Random Joke



If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? The swallow. Share and Enjoy

Random Joke



Dodi and Diana wanted a wedding made in heaven … Versace was sent up first to get the wedding gown and decorative preparations done for the occasion. Then D & D went on together. Mother Teresa went next to bless the couple. An invitation was sent to Elton John to sing at the service but somehow it was misdirected and went to [...]

Random Joke



A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, “I’m sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you’ll forgive me.” So the woman replies, “If your dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in ro [...]

Random Joke



On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks “And get me a whisky you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot d [...]

Random Joke



What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud. Share and Enjoy

Random Joke



This Scottish farmer walks into the neighborhood pub, and orders a whiskey. “Ye see that fence over there?” he says to the bartender. “Ah built it with me own two hands! Dug up the holes with me shovel, chopped doon the trees for the posts by me ownself, laid every last rail! But do they call me ‘McGregor the F [...]

Random Joke



If your wife and your lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to the cinema? Share and Enjoy

Random Joke



There are different ways to enjoy sex after marriage. 1) Smurf Sex: This happens during the honey-moon, you both keep it up until you’re blue in your faces. 2) Kitchen Sex: This is at the beginning of the marriage, you’ll have sex anywhere, anytime. 3) Bedroom Sex: You’ve calmed down a bit, perhaps you have kids, so [...]

Random Joke



A man goes into a drug store and asks the cashier for some condoms. The cashier asks, “What size?” The man replies, “Size? I didn’t know they came in sizes.” “Yes, they do,” she says, “What size do you want?” “Well, gee, I don’t know,” the man answers. The lady is [...]

Random Joke



What’s a man’s definition of a romantic evening? Sex. Share and Enjoy

Random Joke



Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? That’s how dogs spend their lives. Share and Enjoy

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