John Wooden

“Passion is momentary; love is enduring.”

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John Henry Newman

“The love of our private friends is the only preparatory exercise for the love of all men.”

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John Donne

“Love is agrowing, to full constant light; and his first minute, after noon, is night.”

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Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells …

Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven is to sleep with a stupid, ugly woman for the next five years.

A few days later, as Tony’s walking in the park with his stupid, hideous new girlfriend, he spots his friend John with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman. “John, what happened?” Tony asks.

“I have no idea,” John replies. “I was told I have five years of amazing sex to look forward to. The only thing I don’t understand is why she always yells ‘Damn income taxes!’ whenever we have sex.”

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