Little Johnny’s family is sitting at the dinner table.
Father: “Can you please pray for dinner!”
Little Johnny: “Dear God. Please, please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Dad’s computer. Amen!”
Posts tagged dinner
“Mummy, Mummy! what’s for dinner?
“Mummy, Mummy! what’s for dinner?”
“Shut up and get back in the oven.”
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Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t …
Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful Ben’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, Ben volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. “You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”
Ben said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure.”
So he sat down and wrote: “Dear Mother, I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.”
Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:
“Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Allison, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom”
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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds …
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”
“Onions?”
“Yes, you see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, “Mum, how many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?”
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?”
“Yes – dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
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A woman is in kichen preparing dinner for her husband. …
A woman is in kichen preparing dinner for her husband.
She askes: “Honey what’s on tv?”
Husband replies: “Dust honey!”
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Pupil: “I thought we got a choice for dinner but there is only sausages and …
Pupil: “I thought we got a choice for dinner but there is only sausages and fries.”
Dinner Lady: “That’s the choice, take it or leave it!”
