Drag me, drop me – treat me like an object.

Drag me, drop me – treat me like an object.

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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the …

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked: “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied: “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he explained, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband, that’s against the law? I’ll lose my licence! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied: “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription!”

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Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden …

Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. “Mom, I think I’m going to throw up!” She told him, “I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you.” So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief on his young face. “Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?”

“I didn’t have to go that far, mom. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK.”

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Jane Austen

“Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.”

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Two engineering students meet on campus one day. …

Two engineering students meet on campus one day.

The first engineer calls out to the other, “Hey nice bike! Where did you get it?”

“Well,” replies the other, “I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says ‘You can have anything you want!'”

“Good choice,” says the first, “her clothes wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”

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