Yo momma is so fat, when she gets on the scale it says “To be continued.”

Yo momma is so fat, when she gets on the scale it says “To be continued.”

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An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson …

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don’t like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, “TIMES UP”?

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A man sits in a bar, reading a newspaper. Suddenly he is tapped on his shoulder …

A man sits in a bar, reading a newspaper. Suddenly he is tapped on his shoulder by another man: “Excuse me sir, but do you know Mrs. Appleblossom?”

The man folds up his newspaper, coughs slightly and replies: “just a moment sir”, after which he takes out a little black notebook. “A, A, A… [finding the name in the book] yes, actually I do know Mrs. Appleblossom.”.

He puts the notebook back into his inside pocket picks up the newspaper and continues reading. The other man taps his shoulder again: “Excuse me sir, but have you been to bed with Mrs. Appleblossom?”

The first gent puts the newspaper down again, finds his notebook and checks: “B, B, B… ahh, yes, I have been to bed with Mrs. Appleblossom”

He starts putting the notebook away when he once again is tapped on the shoulder: “Excuse me sir, but I am Mr. Appleblossom, and I am very disappointed”

“D, D, D… ahh… yes sir, so was I!”

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A Boy wanted to have sex with his girlfriend. But she was refusing all the time. …

A Boy wanted to have sex with his girlfriend. But she was refusing all the time. So he went to see his friend and asked him what to do about it. His friend had a brilliant plan. He said: “Next time you meet her under the tree behind your home. I will be up in the tree waiting for you. If she refuses again you ask God in the heaven whether you can have sex with her or not. And I will give the right answer to you and her.”

The days went by and one Saturday afternoon he met his girlfriend again. They both went to that tree and he asked her to have sex. She refused. So he said to her: “And, my dear, if I ask God in heaven, would you follow his advise?” “Yes, I would” she said. So he asked: “Father in heaven can I have sex with my girlfriend?” And the voice from heaven said: “OK my friend, go ahead!” And so they had sex the first time.

But the boy asked his friend to do him this favour every week, and he did. But the last time when he asked God in heaven, the father answered: “My dear friend below, step aside and let your father in heaven have a go!”

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Lead Me Lord by Gary Valenciano

Lead Me Lord by Gary Valenciano

Thanks for making this video the “most viewed” version of Gary Valenciano… Julius www.mcgi.org twitter.com/julzplares Lead me Lord, lead me by the hand And make me face the rising sun Comfort me through all the pain That life may bring There’s no other hope That I can lean upon Lead me Lord Lead me all my life Walk by me, walk by me across The lonely road that I may face Take my arms and let your hadn Show me the way Show the way to live inside your heart All my days, all my life Refrain: You are my light You’re the lamb upon my feet All the time my Lord I need You there You are my light I (just) cannot live alone Let me stay By Your guiding love All through my life Lead me Lord Lead me Lord Even though at times I’d rather go alone my way Help me take the right direction Take Your road Lead me Lord And never leave my side All my days All my life You are my light You’re the lamb upon my feet All the time my Lord I need You there You are my light I (just) cannot live alone Let me stay By Your guiding love All through my life All through my days Lead me, O Lord Lead me Lord
Video Rating: 4 / 5

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Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out …

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.

“You’re running around with other women,” she charged.

“You’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You’re the only woman on earth.” The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Adam demanded.

“Counting your ribs!”

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A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled agent must rebook a long line of …

A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled agent must rebook a long line of inconvenienced travelers by herself. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushes to the front and demands to be on the next flight, first class.

Agent: “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first.”

Passenger: “Do you have any idea who I am?”

The gate agent grabs her public address microphone, “May I have your attention, please? We have a passenger here who does not know who he is. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17.”

The man grits his teeth, “Screw you.”

She replies, “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to stand in line for that, too.”

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One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn’t find …

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn’t find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were earlier. Adam said, “The morning Eve and I made love for the first time.”

God said, “Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve now?”

Adam replied, “She’s down at the river, washing herself out.”

“Damn,” says God, “now all the fish will smell funny.”

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Nicki Minaj – Super Bass (Julie Anne / JAPS cover) USTREAM – HIGH QUALITY!!

Download the remastered audio on iTunes itunes.apple.com with Ton Uy of 2 Years Apart (guitars) www.facebook.com Live recording was done at Sumata Sounds studio. checkout Sumata’s facebook page www.facebook.com Also checkout Julie Anne’s official website julieannesanjose.com Follow us at Twitter www.twitter.com www.twitter.com
Video Rating: 4 / 5

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